Son of Chaos Read online

  I opened my mouth to demand he try harder, but my voice failed me as pain unlike anything I’d ever felt ripped me apart from the inside. My knees gave out beneath me, sending me crashing to the ground on a soundless scream.

  Xai.

  His spirit.

  I felt it ripping me in half, tearing away from my being, my essence, my soul.

  Tears froze in my eyes, too shocked to fall.

  Our bond…was…shattering.

  My name fell from those around me, panic filling their voices.

  Xai…

  He couldn’t do this to me.

  No.

  No.

  No!

  I curled into a ball, my insides rioting, my heart disintegrating.

  Broken irrevocably.

  Destroyed.

  Half of me had just…died.

  The better half.

  The only half that had ever mattered.

  My Xai…

  I trusted you to come back to me.

  I trusted you to never leave me.

  You promised to follow me.

  You can’t leave me now.

  How could you do this to me?

  How could you?

  My other half. My mate. My only love.

  I’ll hate you forever for this.

  And never stop loving you.

  Don’t do this to me!

  Don’t you dare do this to me!

  But it was too late.

  It didn’t matter what I said.

  Because he was already gone.

  “I can’t feel him…” I whispered to no one but myself. “He’s… he’s gone.”

  18

  Shadow Demons Suck. Literally

  Several Minutes Earlier…

  I tucked and rolled through the humid air, my feathers sizzling from the lightning bolt Dariel had thrown at me.

  The bastard had good fucking aim.

  I needed a new plan. Alastor’s affinity for disease was useless against an Archangel, thereby rendering him to the strength of a warrior alone.

  No. I required something catastrophic.

  Another jolt hit my side, this one hotter and inciting flames all around me. Everything burned—my wings, my skin, my very being destroyed beneath the fiery embers.

  He’s going to win, I realized. Dariel was stronger, faster, an ancient like my parents, and he’d somehow tapped into this plane’s energy fields. He should be suffering as a being of Heaven, but the Archangel of Concealment was definitely thriving.

  No! Evangeline’s shout pierced my thoughts, her concern palpable.

  She’s watching me fail. I frowned at the thought. She’d trusted me to handle this, had expected me to finish it. Because I should be able to.

  Yes, Dariel had found a way to prosper down here, but chaos reigned in Hell.

  I closed my eyes and turned inward, ignoring the pain, my free fall, and everything else around me.

  Show me, I demanded. Show me what I’m missing.

  The Archangel within me—the one I kept on a tight leash—flourished in my mind, blossoming into a sea of darkness that urged me to play.

  Chaos.

  Destiny.

  Intertwined.

  I smiled. Yes.

  That foreign part of me bloomed, revealing a path I understood. The future, the past, the present, all intertwined into a fate I had no choice but to accept.

  My eyes flew open.

  The world had gone as dark as my mind, but I could see. My wings no longer burned, my being already healed.

  It’s time.

  I know.

  Dariel drew himself in circles above, his panic a beautiful sight. He’d considered me defeated, the baby Archangel who had never truly realized his purpose.

  Until now.

  I can’t catch you… Evangeline’s choked thoughts gave me pause, her terror desperate for a reply. Xai!

  I’m all right, love, I whispered, sending her calming vibes as I silently floated upward toward my target in the clouds.

  There was only one place I could take Dariel where he would surely die. But I had to get close enough to catch him off guard.

  I crept higher, his anxiety coming off him in sparks as he tried futilely to blend into the black smog. My lips curled in anticipation.

  Just a few feet away…

  He whirled, sensing me, and created a wave of spinning power that spun through the air, creating thunder in the sky around us.

  But he’d sent it the wrong way.

  I can’t see anything. Evangeline sounded so frustrated.

  I know, I replied. And neither can Dariel.

  I wrapped my arm around his neck and yanked. His spine severed with a snap, rendering him temporarily paralyzed but very aware. “Hello, Dariel,” I murmured, my teleportation gift already engaged.

  A map of the underworld revealed itself before my eyes, responding to my darkness and allowing me free roam.

  “I have a treat for you,” I told him softly as I navigated us toward the last place I ever wanted to visit again. “You’re going to hate it.”

  Evangeline’s panic speared my heart, causing me to hesitate only briefly.

  No, I would be all right. She had to know that. But I couldn’t risk her being with me here. Not after what happened last time.

  My soul withered and cried out while my mind locked on our precious link and forcibly blocked her lifeline. It was the best way to protect her. She would understand. I hoped.

  An ache immediately formed in my heart at her loss, my angelic spirit mourning her as if she’d died. Tears graced my eyes, my insides empty without her presence, and I embraced it. Required it. Fed from it.

  I’m vacant.

  The Shadow realm unveiled before me, the wispy veils of smoke already rushing to greet their new meal. Except it wasn’t me they wanted to feast upon, but the stirring Archangel in my arms.

  He’d been conscious the whole time, his eyes wild with confusion.

  “You thought I intended to take you home for justice,” I murmured with a smile. “Oh, no. That’s not how I operate.” I dropped him in the fields.

  His lips parted on a scream that didn’t grace the air.

  His body convulsed as the beings of this plane leapt on him with an eagerness that would have terrified some of the harshest creatures of the underworld.

  One of the shadowed figures glanced at me in interest, and I cocked a brow. “Try it.”

  The demon actually recoiled.

  I smirked. “I didn’t think so.” Whatever I’d done in Alastor’s realm had clearly carried with me, granting me dominion over this horrid plane. But it certainly served a reasonable purpose.

  Dariel stood no chance, his light withering by the second. How Evangeline had survived more than a few minutes here remained a mystery. It was a testament to her vigor and resilience.

  My stomach churned at the thought of her, how she must feel, but I had no choice. I would bring no piece of her here. She’d suffered enough. It was my turn now.

  “Any final words?” I asked Dariel, noting his inability to speak. “Hmm, no, I suppose not.”

  His cheekbones protruded through his skin as the Shadow demons sucked the remains of his life through his skin. A ghastly sight that I refused to look away from. He began to shrivel, the last vestiges of his soul disappearing into the gray abyss.

  “As Evangeline would say, ‘May you rest in Hell.’ ” I grinned with the words, finding them incredibly appropriate as the Archangel disintegrated into ash. The Shadow demons grumbled in disappointment. “Good to know you can be helpful,” I murmured. “But if you ever touch my Evangeline again, I will come back here and destroy every last one of you.”

  A few of them took a step back, clearly receiving my message.

  “Excellent.” I stood and stretched my aching sides. “Until next time.”

  I focused my energy on finding Alastor’s realm again, needing my Evangeline. It’d only been a few minutes, but it felt like an eternity wit
hout her.

  Our bond flickered.

  Sizzled.

  Died.

  My brow furrowed. That was not supposed to happen. Though, I supposed, neither was cutting her off.

  I tried again, her lifeline barely a whisper in my mind.

  Such pain…

  It seared my insides, scorching my soul.

  Evangeline!

  Something had happened. Something catastrophic. I could feel her shattered being just out of my reach, refusing my call.

  Where are you? I demanded. The easy connection we had before no longer existed, her essence a haunted chasm refusing me entry.

  I burst into Alastor’s realm from the sky, my gaze already searching. The place I’d felt her last was vacant. Had she flown back to the others? Had someone taken her again?

  Fire licked through my veins at the thought. I would burn this world down trying to find her.

  And here I’d promised never to leave her side.

  She could defend herself, I knew that, trusted in that, but what if she’d been caught unawares again?

  “Evangeline!” I yelled, my voice carrying over the wind and bellowing through the realm. Everything and everyone seemed to still beneath me. It took me a moment to realize why—I’d begun blackening the sky again.

  That unique trait was both a blessing and a curse.

  Alastor appeared in the sky, his brown feathers carrying a reddish tint from the sun. He started toward me, and I met him halfway. “Where is she?”

  “On the ground,” he replied as if that explained everything. “How the fuck did you do that?”

  “Where, Alastor?” I didn’t want to play the question game. I wanted my mate.

  He sighed dramatically. “No one employs common conversational skills anymore. It’s all work and no fun.” He turned, his path leading us toward his palatial estate. “I assume Dariel is dead?”

  “Very,” I replied, at least giving him that.

  “Good. Of course, now we don’t know whom he was working with.”

  “Time will inform us,” the dark part of me murmured.

  “How cryptic,” he deadpanned as he took a sharp turn.

  Evangeline’s purple feathers were scattered across the ground, her body crumpled into a ball between Lucía and Trudy. I dropped behind them, my fury palpable. “Do not touch her.”

  Both women jumped back, their expressions shocked. I eyed Lucía with disgust and raised a brow when Alastor landed in front of her. “Touch her, and we’ll have a problem, Archangel.”

  I didn’t care enough to ask. If Evangeline had let the woman live, there had to be a good reason.

  She didn’t move or acknowledge me, her feathers wilting before my eyes.

  “What happened?” I growled, needing to know whom to kill.

  “You, uh, died,” Trudy replied slowly.

  “Do I look dead to you?” I asked her, my brow arching.

  “No, but she thought…” She trailed off, or perhaps continued; I wasn’t sure because I stopped listening.

  Evangeline thought I was dead.

  My heart skipped a beat, my soul still aching for its mate to acknowledge him.

  Oh, darling…

  I knelt beside her, pulling her into my arms. She remained still, her face ashen, her body weak.

  Breaking from her, even briefly, had zapped the strength of will right out of her. My strong, fierce assassin was broken because of me.

  I touched my forehead to hers. “I’m so sorry, love. I couldn’t take any part of you with me. Not after what happened.”

  If she heard me, she didn’t acknowledge it.

  I sighed, looking up at Alastor. “Do you require us for anything else?”

  His dark brows rose. “You ventured into my realm, Archangel. Not by my invitation, I might add. So are you finished fighting Archangels in my realm?”

  I considered all the avenues of his question, all the possibilities I knew would come to be, and sighed. “Likely not, but I am today.” There were still others to hunt down—nameless and faceless individuals who needed to pay for the imbalance. Dariel had implied they were in Heaven already, wreaking havoc as we worked, but I knew that to be a lie. Yes, something had shifted, but my realm was still safe. Nothing and no one had Fallen.

  “You’ll see us again, and soon,” I told him. “A new power arises in your realm, Alastor. I wish you luck, as you’ll need it.” The words came unbidden and I wasn’t quite sure what they implied, but I had to say them.

  I’m becoming my mother, I growled.

  And from the look on Alastor’s face, he was not pleased by it. “Take your prophecies back to Heaven, Archangel. I prefer to live in the moment.”

  I smirked. “Likewise.” I held Evangeline close and nodded a goodbye before triggering our ascent.

  19

  Xai’s Relationship Advice 101: Forgiveness Is Important

  Night had fallen over Heaven by the time we returned, the moon shining beautifully over our favorite field.

  As I sensed, the walls were fine. Something had shifted earlier, causing the sensations we experienced in Hell, but I didn’t care about that now. The woman in my arms had my complete and undivided attention.

  “Evangeline,” I whispered, laying her on the ground beneath me. Her wings had melted to ash and rebloomed upon our entry, her luscious purple plumes glistening in the moonlight. “Open your eyes.”

  She shook her head, as stubborn as ever.

  I brushed my lips across her jaw, her neck, along her collarbone. “Please,” I whispered. “I need to see your eyes, love.”

  She whimpered in reply, a fractured sound I never wanted to hear from her again.

  “You still think me dead.” We played this game once before, what felt like decades ago in Earth years. “Open your eyes,” I repeated more forcefully.

  Her lashes fluttered, her lips trembling.

  “I promise you’ll like what you see.” I added a hint of underlining arrogance in hopes of coaxing her, but that only seemed to increase her quivering. “Where’s my warrior? Why are you hiding?”

  “You died.” Two broken words that hurt to hear.

  I remained on my knees, straddling her hips, and cupped her face between my palms. “No, I temporarily cut off our link to guard you from the Shadow realm.”

  Her brow furrowed, understanding finally carving a path into her beautiful features. “You what?”

  “I’m not repeating myself.” She heard me the first time.

  Sapphire irises appeared, fire simmering in their depth. “You what?”

  Oh, this I preferred to the sadness.

  Fire.

  Fury.

  A fight.

  “Why would you do that?” she asked, her voice strengthening. “You cut me off?”

  “To protect you, love.” I drew my thumb across her reddening cheek. “After what they did to you last time, I wanted no possibility of them touching you again.”

  “So you severed our link?” She shoved against my shoulders with far more power than I anticipated, knocking me to the side. I caught her hips, pulling her over me before she could escape, causing her breasts to touch my chest again.

  “Yes,” I replied softly. “I wanted to keep you safe.”

  “I thought you died!” she snapped, her palm nearly cracking my face. I grasped her wrists and rolled her beneath me once more.

  Stretching her arms out over her head with one hand, I used my other to circle her throat. “I’m here, Evangeline, and very much alive.”

  “And very much an asshole.”

  I shrugged. “A fact that will never change.”

  “I thought you died, Xai,” she repeated, her eyes misting. “Do you have any idea what that felt like?”

  “Yes,” I whispered, my grip loosening on her hands. “I felt empty inside without you, and still do since you haven’t allowed me to reinstate the bond.”

  She said nothing for a moment, her lashes falling. “Maybe you don’t deserve
it anymore.” The words were so quiet I almost didn’t hear them.

  “You can’t mean that,” I said, sitting up with my legs straddled across her thighs. “Take that back.”

  She didn’t meet my gaze. Didn’t speak.

  “Evangeline,” I whispered, my heart breaking all over again. “Tell me you didn’t mean that.”

  “You cut me off,” she replied softly, her lower lip trembling. “You, Xai. Not me.”

  “To protect you,” I repeated yet again. “What would you have me do, Evangeline? Keep the connection alive in a realm that nearly stole you from me?”

  Her blue eyes finally grasped mine and held fiercely. “I survived in that realm because of my link to you. Because of my will to return to you, Xai. Don’t you see?” Sadness radiated from her gaze, destroying me from the inside out.

  “Removing that bond, blocking it in any way, weakens us both,” she continued, her voice soft. “You turned me away in a moment where I needed to know you were alive, in a moment where I was so terrified I may never see you again after seeing you on fire, and I thought you were gone forever. That damaged me more than the Shadow realm ever could, Xai.”

  Agony radiated from her, serving as a hint of what I’d done by closing her off. “I never meant to hurt you.”

  “But you did,” she whispered. “More than I ever thought possible.” The resolve in her expression nearly destroyed me.

  She couldn’t… Not now. Not ever.

  I dropped my head to her chest, my body shaking above hers. “Don’t do this, Evangeline. Please, don’t do this.” I grasped her shoulders, holding her as if I could keep her here for eternity. “I thought I was protecting you, I thought… I couldn’t bear the thought of the Shadows touching you again. Not after almost losing you, after finding you on the edge of death. You have to see that, have to understand it.”

  “And you need to see why breaking our bond wasn’t the answer. You harmed us more by pushing me away, Xai. You can’t do that. You can’t ever do that to me again.” She grabbed my hair, forcing me upward. “Do you hear me? Trust me to defend myself. Trust yourself to defend me too. But don’t ever shut me out. I’d prefer death to the feeling of losing you.”

  Tears rolled down her cheeks at the words, matching the streaks lancing my heart. “I acted on instinct. Protecting you will always be my primary objective.”